Sharing a daily life lesson, tip, or hack; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.
Ahhh… If only we all did this!! What does it really mean to ‘listen carefully’? First and foremost – it means NO interrupting! Too many of us have the bad habit of not letting people finish a complete thought before adding our two cents worth. How can we fully interpret the context of what someone is telling us without the entire presentation?
Listening carefully means confirming our understanding of the words, the vernacular, and the reference point of the speaker. It’s nice when we are able to successfully infer meaning in a conversation but you know what is said about too many assumptions….
While it may not be necessary to utilize reflective listening in each and every exchange – the tools that technique teaches eliminates a lot of assumptive problems. When we mirror the statement of another, we are validating that we’ve received the message and most importantly – interpreted it correctly.
“Well I’m not doing that again.” said Diane
“In not doing that again – do you mean today or never – ever?” asks Pete.
It’s important to stop when we listen – to give our attention to the speaker. One of the greatest stories I’ve heard is of a man who pulled over to the side of the road after dating a woman only a few weeks to hear what she was saying about her father. When asked what he was doing, he responded “you’re getting ready to share a big part of your history with me and I’d want to give it my full attention.” That’s LISTENING.
Acknowledge receipt of the message in some fashion, even if it is with a quick “wow”, “that’s great”, or “no kidding”. Having no reaction at all fails to communicate back that you received what was said. People want to be heard. Even if you feel defensive or become distracted – finish receiving the speaker’s comment and reply to THAT expression before moving on. Verify that they are finished with that thought before anything self-serving is introduced.
Our best friends typically LISTEN – which is – in large part – why they get that title. If you want to be a best friend learn to…
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