Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.
One of the potentially troublesome elements of our humanness is the tendency for us to compare ourselves. Comparing what we look like, our incomes, our homes, our jobs, our families, or the like often allow for feelings of unworthiness, envy, and jealousy – none of which are healthy contributors to our emotional frame.
Apples and Oranges
When we compare, frequently we are attempting to measure ourselves against observations that are unfair. We equate the worst of our person or situation to our assumption about the other – generally a perspective that isn’t completely accurate. We may think that our friends marriage is perfect because when in public – the couple appears laughing and engaged yet they may simply be hiding great pain and shame of a poor relationship under that laughter. Others may have a large home, go on lavish vacations, and drive fancy cars – allowing for assumptions about their large incomes but in truth – are deeply in debt.
The reality is that we are each unique and perfectly imperfect people who have a personal story unlike another’s. No matter how similar one may be to another, the likelihood that we can be the same or would really want to be the same… is farfetched. What would the world be if we were simply duplicates of one another?
Things Aren’t What They Seem
I’ve known people who had a lot of money but no family to share it with; they got so caught up in the pursuit of wealth that their family drifted away. I’ve known people who kept their house nice and clean yet friends rarely felt comfortable there due to its sterile feeling. People’s lives are often like icebergs… only the tip is exposed to the world and we don’t know what is happening below the surface. Measuring ourselves against only part of the whole, sets us up for false perceptions.
When you find yourself comparing – the quickest antidote to any negative feelings that may occur is to express gratitude. When we take the time to be grateful for what we DO have – for who we ARE – and for what is REAL… we stop getting caught up in other people’s lives because we notice what matters in ours.
While the temptation to compare may not entirely evaporate from your life, remembering that you see only what people what you to see and not what is real may help. Add that to an expression of gratitude for everything that works in your world and you’ll quickly learn to …
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