#230 Give the Gift of Your Favorite Book

Sharing things we love is good for our spirit. When we give away something we enjoy, we share a bit of ourselves as we hand over the material item.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#230

Give the Gift of Your Favorite Book

Yesterday I suggested that you re-read your favorite book and if you take me up on that suggestion…. Great! I hope you enjoy. Afterwards – or in the event that you don’t want to re-read it – write a note about why the book stands out in your mind, tuck it inside and give it to a friend (without giving away the ending).

Sharing Is Good

You might share why you are giving this particular book to that particular person. Is there something about the story that reminds you of her/him, or the relationship  you have with them? Is there something else that you think resonates within the story? Sharing things we love is good for our spirit. When we give away something we enjoy, we share a bit of ourselves as we hand over the material item.

Connections

This gesture is a small example of how we might foster social connections. Sharing is an integral part of connecting with others. Research tells us that when we share, the pleasure centers of our brain are activated – the same areas that turn on when we eat food that we enjoy or have sex. Because we take time to step outside of ourselves – out of our selfish perspective – we may also improve elements of depression or anxiety.

Kindness

Perhaps the best benefit of all is that we promote kindness which, is known to be one of those things that create forward ripples; kindness begets kindness. Not to mention that the gesture promotes reading. You may never know what goodness happens after you…

Give the gift of your favorite book.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#231 Re-read your Favorite Book

This suggestion is one of those things that we don’t think of often, perhaps a quick and easy way to get your mind off daily stressors and into an imaginary world that you are familiar with.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#231

Re-read your favorite book

What is your favorite fiction book? When did you read it? Why is it your favorite? Would you enjoy reading it again?

The Favorites

In my late teen years I read ‘The Thornbirds’ and to this day, I remember being enthralled by the generational story. Later, I read and loved Michener’s ‘Chesapeake’ and again, I remember the ending as clearly as if I had just finished it because it was so vividly depicted. And then there were the Fern Michaels trilogies that told of cousins in various parts of the country; stories that, to this day, are remembered and thought of as if they could be real people in real time in Texas, Las Vegas, or Kentucky.

Re-runs

Why is it that we watch favorite movies over and over, or television series – how many times have you watched the same ‘Friends’ episode – but rarely read a book a second time through? Summer is a great time to visit the library and check out that book that you remember loving from a long time ago. Did you ever pick up Sidney Sheldon’s ‘Master of the Game’?… it’s another of those memorable fiction stories that stuck in my mind because of the intense graphic visual that came to my mind as I read the words.

Comfort Zone

This suggestion is one of those things that we don’t think of often, perhaps a quick and easy way to get your mind off daily stressors and into an imaginary world that you are familiar with. Re-reading a book you’ve enjoyed in the past means you’ll go directly into a ‘happy place’ without the struggle of making it past the first few chapters as can happen in some stories. Do yourself a favor and take some time for simple enjoyment this summer and …

Re-read your favorite book.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#232 Say No

When we put others needs before ours consistently, we rob ourselves of the ability to stay ‘charged’.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#232

Say No

Are you a people pleaser? Are you challenged to say “no” when people ask you to do something? Are you afraid to let people down or disappointment them?

Full Plates

For those of us that are people pleasers, it is particularly challenging to experience the effect of disappointing people. We tend to over commit ourselves in an effort to meet the things we believe are expectations from others. We crowd our calendars, we stretch our limits, and we spend too much time frazzled as we strive to complete our over extended agendas.

Use Your Voice

Often, we know we are pushing too far… moving past comfortable as our mind screams “NO!” to our unhearing vocal cords that are deaf to our hearts whispers. Before we know it, the word “ok” escapes even though our internal warning systems are vibrating through our physical system. It’s vital that we learn to let our internal voice make become audible and speak the words that our brain is trying to vocalize.

Self Care

Honoring our own time limits and personal space is one of the most elementary components of self care. Before we can take care of others and meet all of their needs, we must make sure to charge our own batteries; stay mentally and physically strong enough to meet the demands of our own life. When we put others needs before ours consistently, we rob ourselves of the ability to stay ‘charged’.

Let ‘Em Down Easy

There isn’t any reason to be brash or offensive as we reject the desires or expectation of others. Most people will understand if we’ve maxed out the hours in our days. Learn to say “I’d love to but I can’t right now” or “I need to finish a few things before I can take on something else.” or … you could just…

Say “no”.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

Photo by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash

#233 Find a Long Lost Friend

Whether it’s a series of adventures in the neighborhood on bicycle, prank phone calls to radio D.J.’s, or late night whispers about the cutest guy in math class… this person from your past knows a part of you that people in your life today may not have any knowledge of.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#233

Find a long lost friend

When you think about your childhood, is there a person – a friend – that you’ve lost touch with? Someone that you’d like to connect with again, if only to know how their life turned out?

The Internet

Once again, the internet makes finding old friends rather easy if you know a full name. Websites such as Google, Facebook, & LinkedIn are great places to start. Women can be more difficult if they’ve married and changed their last name. Likewise, common names such as John Williams or Sara Johnson can be challenging without additional information. The website Classmates.com and those similar charge a small fee but organize names by high schools and graduation years. Some of these sites offer a small period of time where you can use the resources free.

Motivation

As you think of finding the friend you’ve been thinking of, consider what your expectation is once you find them. Those of us who were besties in high school may not share similar interests once 20 years has past. Will you be disappointed if that person who knew all your secrets no longer enjoys the things you do? Will you feel let down if they aren’t receptive to your inquiry? What if they want to establish a relationship yet you discover you’ve only looking to satisfy a curiosity?

History

One of the great benefits of connecting with an old buddy is that they share a piece of history with you. Whether it’s a series of adventures in the neighborhood on bicycle, prank phone calls to radio D.J.’s, or late night whispers about the cutest guy in math class… this person from your past knows a part of you that people in your life today may not have any knowledge of. It can be comforting and downright healing to connect with pieces of memory that remind you of good times past and the energy, dreams, and spirit of youth.

Who is it that comes to mind as you think about what it would be like to …

Find a long lost friend.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#234 Wear a Bold Color

I’m not suggesting that you don a St. Patrick’s day green suit so that you are bold from head to toe but a deep green blouse or tie may make a great statement to your business ensemble.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#234

Wear a bold color

Take a good hard look in your closet. What colors do you see? Is the majority of your closet black, navy, grey, and white? Do you have a little pastel mixed in? Out of all the items, how many pieces are Bold?

I’m talking about your day to day wardrobe? How much color is really there?

Psychological hiding

Many of us don’t wear bold on purpose as it may highlight features we prefer to downplay. Others may simply not want to draw attention to themselves, although I rarely find this is a conscious decision.  Others still, may believe that a more modest, sterile combination is preferred in a business environment. Truth is, when we make these choices, we could be seeking to be background players, unseen by the masses, and blending into the crowd more often than not. We unconsciously choose clothing that will not draw attention to us.

Stand Out

Ironically however, it’s those times that we stand out appropriately that we tend to get the most compliments, the most accolades, and the most romantic interest. One of the ways that we can stand out without speaking, moving, or over performing, is to wear a color that is complementary to our skin tone but bold in contrast.

Choosing colors

First, you must know if you have warm or cool skin tones… look at the veins in your hands. What color are they? If they are blue or purple, you have a COOL tone. If they appear greenish, you have a WARM tone. Cool tones run in the turquoise, purple, and pink pallets while warm tones are reds, oranges, greens, and yellows.

Accessorize

I’m not suggesting that you don a St. Patrick’s day green suit so that you are bold from head to toe but a deep green blouse or tie may make a great statement to your business ensemble. Carrying a bright red bag and wearing matching shoes creates a dynamic look with an otherwise boring grey suit. A casual jeans and sweater evening can be taken to another level with a deep turquoise cardigan. Pick a few colors from your tone range and seek to add those colors in the add-on part of your wardrobe. Perhaps including a bold dress or polo shirt for those times when it’s important to be remembered.

The next time you want to quietly stand out or be noticed, do it with your clothing and …

Wear a bold color.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

 

#235 Strive for Authenticity

On major topics many of us do a fair job of staying true to ourselves and yet there are little things that are sometimes disguised as keeping peace …

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#235
Strive for Authenticity

No Compromise

One of the most elementary components of those living in a state of peace, contentment, and happiness is their ability to sustain authenticity in their day to day lives. These people know ‘who’ they are and they don’t compromise their values or beliefs to keep the peace or avoid confrontation. Wait, what? Am I suggesting that you refuse to compromise? Isn’t that the cornerstone of relationship success? The answer is “yes” if the compromise is about likes and dislikes; we’ll eat Mexican today and Chinese next week or we’ll watch Golf today and HGTV tomorrow. It’s a big fat “NO” however, if we are faced with compromising our values and core beliefs.

Conviction

In order to get good at this, we need to have clear focus about what we believe and/or what feels ‘right’ for us as an individual. If you don’t want to take the risk of driving with someone who refuses to wear a seat belt – don’t. If you feel strongly about drugs, alcohol, or sex… own your stance and stand your ground. Work to disregard any judgment that seeks to undermine your position with negativity or ridicule. Most often, those convictions are ignited from the core of ‘who we are’ and when we honor them, we are our most authentic selves.

Physiological clues

Our bodies are amazing barometers of our state of authenticity and its helpful to learn how to read the measurements they provide. When a friend is being racist and that behavior is in deep contrast to your value system, how do you feel? Where do you feel it? Are you nauseous? Is your heart racing? Do you get headaches? Step away from the friend and notice if the symptoms dissipate? If so – your body is blatantly telling you your friends behavior is contradictory to your core either you remove yourself from the condition or you equalize it by sharing your perspective. To stay and do nothing would be disingenuous to you.

True to you

On major topics many of us do a fair job of staying true to ourselves and yet there are little things that are sometimes disguised as keeping peace or just making things easier that corrode our sense of authenticity over time. ‘Going along with the crowd’, ‘not speaking up’, and ‘giving up’ are some of the reasons we fail to honor our core selves. Once or twice may not make a big impact on our system but I find that when it is consistent, our sense of ‘self’ is greatly diminished.

“Why didn’t you go back to school?”
“Because my husband wouldn’t have liked me taking so much time from our family.”
“Why don’t you golf anymore?”
“Because my wife wants me to sleep in with her on weekends.”

Pay attention

When you are present in your life and checking in with yourself on a regular basis, noticing these moments of in-authenticity are easier. Learning to communicate about them so that you are consistent with meeting the needs of your core is helpful as well. Being in tune with your body, honoring your heart, and using your voice are critical skills as you …
Strive for Authenticity

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#236 Mindful Kissing

Be patient while you explore and navigate your partner’s kiss. Be sure to keep your focus there without the distraction of other sensations.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#236

Mindful kissing

If you have a significant other or even a special friend, this suggestion can ignite a spark so, reader beware. Mindful kissing is a special kind of kissing… it’s kissing on purpose, with intention, for no other reason than to experience – truly experience – the kiss.

This type of kissing begins with intention. It is a desire to fully engage and participate in the experience of a kiss with particular notice to each and every sensation;

  • Notice the closeness of your partner.
  • Notice the smell of your partner, their skin, their breath, their body perfume.
  • Notice the texture of the lips you are kissing; their temperature.

Slowly inhale and exhale with the focus on the sensations you are experiencing in the kiss itself.

When your focus moves to another part of your body, or somewhere in your mind – bring it back to the kiss.

  • Notice your saliva production and it’s exchange.
  • Notice the desire of your tongue and its movement.
  • Notice the taste that is exchanged in your kiss.
  • Notice the interaction between lips, tongues, and mouths.
  • Notice the as your breath changes; notice your partner’s breath.

Allow the kiss to take time. Be patient while you explore and navigate your partner’s kiss. Be sure to keep your focus there without the distraction of other sensations. Try spending 5 minutes mindfully kissing – only kissing – and if you enjoy the interactions, increase the time with each engagement.

If you want to jump start a little energy in your relationship, this is a great way to get the engines rolling again. One of the key’s is free, easy, and innate for us all…

Mindful kissing.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.