#118 Lower Your Expectations

Expectations need to be clear and verbalized when they exist and in order for that to happen, they need to be in our awareness.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#118

Lower your expectations

It has been said that the single quickest way to obtain a sense of happiness is to lower your expectations – allowing most of the disappointment you feel to disappear. You see, when we experience disappointment, it’s due almost exclusively to an expectation that wasn’t met.

Here are a few areas where high expectations can make life more difficult:

  1. Expectations for perfection
  2. Expectations for people to think like ‘me’.
  3. A belief that there’s only one way – the right way – and an expectation for people to adopt that belief.
  4. An expectation for people to ‘do what I do’.
  5. An expectation to avoid confrontation.
  6. An expectation to control what’s outside of your authority.
  7. An expectation for people to define things like you do.

Each one of those items can be applied to an almost limitless list of examples in the average person’s day to day life.

We are raised with expectations, we are required to meet expectations at our place of employment, and we are constantly exposed to social expectations. The challenge of determining which ones are appropriate to meet and which ones we can dismiss can be overwhelming. Some of us – in light of this – try to meet them all… often with disastrous consequences to our mental health.

Generally speaking, consider the ones that do NOT fall into any of the above categories. Then, take a look at which of the remaining ones are a priority to YOU. Meeting those expectations at work may be necessary if you want to generate an income that sustains your lifestyle yet making your bed every morning may be a leftover from mom.

Meeting expectations feels good but failing to hit the mark generally, does not. If you are going to establish expectations, make sure they are reachable for the people to whom they apply. It may be too big of a goal for your C student to get straight A’s next semester. Expectations need to be clear and verbalized when they exist and in order for that to happen, they need to be in our awareness. Many of us have subconscious expectations that are represented by idea’s of ‘should’.

Discover your subconscious expectations easily by recording those things that are ‘should’s’ in your life… you’ll be amazed. Only then can you make the decision to know when for what you can …

Lower your expectations.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#252 Be Adventurous

Adventure helps us grow. When we experiment a little (or a lot), we will have successes and successes grow confidence.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#252

Be adventurous

Are you willing to take risks? Try new things? Test new ideas?  Enjoy new experiences? If so… congrats, you are adventurous and I suspect your happiness level reflects as much.

Adventure is about curiosity. Happiness research indicates that when we are curious in our daily life, it may elevate our happy base line. This is great news for people who tend to be glass half empty type of people. Many of us operate from a state of fear and it keeps us locked into familiar positions. When we are curious… i.e., adventurous… we step out of that comfort zone and – in many cases – are pleasantly surprised.

Adventure is personal. For some, it may be bungee jumping. For others, it may be getting on an airplane. It’s the unknown, the uncertain, maybe even the mysterious which, of course is different for us all based on experience.

Taking risks is difficult for some. Start close to your comfort level. Increase by degrees and pay attention to your body which, is uniquely designed to warn you when you are approaching the boundary of risk tolerance. Push lightly – a little at a time – and before you know it, the benefits of being adventurous will be felt.

Adventure helps us grow. When we experiment a little (or a lot), we will have successes and successes grow confidence. Yes, some of those trials will not be as successful as we hope but trying again is being adventurous and each time we try, we open the door to success and the elation that comes with it. There’s a great surge of dopamine that travels with the words “I did it!”.

Stop for a minute and think of something that would feel just a little outside of your comfort zone, or a place you’ve never gone, or a thing you’ve always wanted to do and make plans to…

Be adventurous.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#265 of 365 Ways to live Easier, Happier, & More Productive

People have asked me if there really are 365 ways to brighten your day; to increase esteem; promote self care; and/or be more productive…

Sharing a daily life lesson, tip, or hack; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#265

Do something for 100 days.

Today is the 100th consecutive post for this blog project. Yay for me! I’ve promised 265 more so we’re not even a third of the way in but the accomplishment is that it’s been 100 days! I’ve written one hundred ways to promote happiness, well-being, and production in our lives.

I’m not sure I’ve ever done another thing for such a consistent stretch and this feat feels good. If I’m being honest, there have been days when sitting down with my laptop felt cumbersome, another chore that needed scratched off the list. There were a couple of days that I knew I could not write at all and so I had to prepare in advance and write ahead although I’ve been driven by the goal of posting each day and so the act of making the post was daily.

People have asked me if there really are 365 ways to brighten your day; to increase esteem; promote self care; and/or be more productive. I contend that there are that many ways and so I hope you’ll stay tuned. If you are thinking of something that I haven’t covered, please share in the comments.

Perhaps more importantly, what is something that you can do for 100 consecutive days? Are you thinking about writing, or dieting, or working out? Are you on a journey of gratitude or benevolence? Think about committing to your project, yourself and …

Do something for 100 days.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

 

Before Xanax

First, let’s be clear that expressing ‘happy’ emotions isn’t the part we need help with…

Never let your emotions rule, but always let them testify. ~Robert Brault

I believe I’ve written about emotions in the past yet the idea of describing how necessary it is to allow one’s self the opportunity to express emotions keeps playing over in my mind. Often, the reality is that I need to hear the message and so in that – writing is helpful, healing. It’s probably no surprise to any writer that in reflection, one can identify content specifically situated to deliver a deeply personal note. Perhaps that is always the Universe’s intent.

In any regard, I am in the business of teaching people the importance of emoting. One of the first things I teach is that we are born knowing how to laugh and cry – expressing emotions are innate to the human experience. Our bodies are designed to experience emotions and yet after birth, many of us are taught NOT to express them instead of how to express them effectively.

I cringe at all of the times as a parent that I told one of my children to “hush up”, “stop crying”, “suck it up”, or the worst… “I’ll give you something to cry about”. Continue reading “Before Xanax”