#158 Try a New Hair Color

For those of us who use hair color for reasons other than covering gray, it seems that we are demonstrating very specific personality characteristics; using color to make a silent statement.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#158

Try a new hair color

One of the easiest ways to ‘shake things up’ from a personal look perspective is to color your hair. There’s a wide variety of options, it’s as temporary as you want it to be, and the opportunity to go bold is inherent. Your colorist’s ability to create a natural blonde look or a full rainbow is only limited by your desire. Do you have a wish to see what it’s like to be a redhead or a beach blonde?

For those of us who use hair color for reasons other than covering gray, it seems that we are demonstrating very specific personality characteristics; using color to make a silent statement.

Colors Have Meaning

Making the Brunette choice indicates stability and responsibility. It suggests a mature perspective with an emphasis on hard work and success.

Making the decision to dye your ends with a bright color indicates that you like to ‘switch things up’. It implies that you prefer compromise and like to find a ‘happy medium’. You’re more likely to settle into the ‘middle ground’.

Choosing a natural blonde look will highlight the fun side of your personality. The ‘blondes have more fun’ mantra speaks to your bold side. It tells the world that you’re willing to be the life of the party and you’re up for a night out or a chill PJ party as long as it’s with friends.

Going red is always just ‘sassy’. You take charge and make things happen while cultivating the hearts of those who take the time to know you; others step back. Your energy keeps life interesting.

Making the move to do dark and deep boldly tells the world you’ll welcome it in but you’re not going to chase it down. You wear your heart quietly on your sleeve and home is where you want to be.

There are a lot of great variations to these descriptions that will add a ‘side note’ whether its a Balayage, foil highlights, a colored streak, or an Ombre. These playful options are fun and shift the color without a massive change.

If you’re needing a little pick-me-up, this may be just the option for you. Consider your personality, talk to your stylist, and …

Try a new hair color.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below

#162 Ask Friends and Family for Feedback

We have a deep seeded belief that if we bring attention to them, somehow people will think less of us.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#162

Ask Friends and Family for Feedback

One of the most basic tenets of self-awareness is to understand how you are perceived by people in your environment. There’s no better way to get honest feedback than to ask those who know you best. It’s one of the homework assignments that students in The Elevate Class complete and the results are always a major part of our coaching conversations.

Be Open

Being open to the constructive criticism that people share is a necessity. Your ability to hear their perspectives without feeling attacked or ‘bad’ can help you understand how you are perceived by others. Try to remember that people who love you offer a view that is shared from a place of acceptance; they love you – anyway! It’s always interesting to see things about yourself that can’t be seen from the inside out.

Changes

Not everything that is observed needs to be changed. You are who you are! If an observation suggests offensive behavior, of course you’ll want to consider how it is impacting someone you love and ask yourself if that’s what you’re goal is… It may be just something you want to stay aware of so that you can mitigate its negative impact – where applicable. Perhaps it is something that when changed, would benefit your relationship.

Seeing Ourselves

Sometimes, we look at something so long that we stop seeing it – having become so accustomed to its presence. The feedback we receive is important for a complete picture. If you’re concerned that the response may be too critical – qualify your request by asking this:

“Please offer gentle and constructive critique about my behavior/actions and how they impact our relationship: a mix of positive and negative observations would be appreciated.”

I suggest the response be written so that you can take time to consider their perspectives and your memory won’t be challenged in recalling the comments; email is fine… texting not so much.

Fear

The biggest pushback that I typically see to this suggestion is the fear we experience when we think that our faults are going to be highlighted. We have a deep seeded belief that if we bring attention to them, somehow people will think less of us. Interestingly enough – those traits are always exposed… just because we don’t acknowledge them, doesn’t mean they don’t show through. It’s always better to brave the exposure. Nothing changes if it stays packed away… even if no change is desired, keeping it out in front will make sure that it stays healthy.  So, give yourself an opportunity to grow and …

Ask friends and family for feedback.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below

Photo by Yolanda Sun on Unsplash

#171 Go Camping (or Glamping)

Glamping is a relatively new twist to the idea of camping – taking all of the reasons people don’t camp – and erasing them.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#171

Go camping (or Glamping)

I didn’t exactly grow up camping the way so many people have but it didn’t take long for me to fall in love with getting away and sleeping outdoors, once I did.  There’s just something very natural about sleeping outdoors. Perhaps it calls to our ancestral memories when outdoor living was the only option. When we can spend time outdoors (or with the essence of being outside) without the frustration of insects, bad weather, or discomfort – it’s a wonderful experience that resonates deeply for most of us.

Options

Camping accommodations are about as diverse as there are places to camp. When you’re young and broke, tent camping is a great place to start. Small, easy to set up tents are inexpensive as are tent camping sites – especially at National Parks. There are pop-up campers, hard shell campers, fifth-wheel traveling homes, cottages, cabins, yurts, and various contraptions that have been turned into camping rentals (i.e., treehouses, cabooses, etc.). Likewise, prices run from just a few dollars a night to potentially hundreds if you’re Glamping in an elaborate tree house with all of the comfort amenities.

Comfort

Glamping is a relatively new twist to the idea of camping – taking all of the reasons people don’t camp – and erasing them. Glamping is perhaps the very best way to experience a change of scenery away from home while embracing a bit of the best camping elements. Glamping give you a chance to do all of the things that are great about camping; cooking on an open fire, eating outside, stepping out of your sleeping area and taking a hike, embracing copious amounts of fresh air, etc. By definition, Glamping is where campling and modern comforts (bed & flushing toilets) – collide.

Rental

The idea of Glamping has become so popular that AirBnB lists dozens of owners who are now making money by offering ‘accommodations’ that take camping to a whole new level. RV’s – Tents with beds, and treehouses are only a few of the offerings available now on these online overnight reservation services. Imagine the owner of a farm in western New York who puts up a large tent out on the edge of his tree line, lays in a throw rug, a queen sized mattress with high end linens, a few high powered battery operated lamps, lots of throw pillows, prepares a fire ready to light, and then leaves a tray with s’more fixings for you to enjoy at some point in the evening. Oh… and don’t forget the chemical toilet that’s available so you won’t have to succumb to any ‘out house’ experiences. That farmer… smart guy!

Certainly, throwing down a sleeping bag next to a babbling brook after sundown and watching the raccoons try to steal the bag of hot dog buns you left on the picnic table while you roast marshmallows over a fire you made by collecting scraps of wood across the forest floor… there is a beauty to that simplicity as well.

Perfect timing.

It’s that time of year in the Northern hemisphere where camping is prime… warm days and cool nights. Leaves will be changing colors and there will be a crispness to the air that is attractive no matter where you stay. It’s a time of year when the mountains call. There’s so many advantages to getting away from the daily stressors of your life and communing with nature – even if you do it in comfort! Your stress level will reduce, your exposure to Vitamin D will rise, your connection to family and/or friends will strengthen and your opportunity to ‘get grounded’ improves dramatically when you…

Go camping (or Glamping).

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below

#174 Change the Knobs on Your Kitchen Cabinets

When we have the feeling that we are ‘with the times’ it settles that FOMO sensation; it helps us connect to the universal need of belonging.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#174

Change the knobs on your kitchen cabinets

Want a quick pick-me-up? An updated look? It can be as easy as changing the knobs on your kitchen cabinets. Designers agree that a ‘dating’ element of design can be easily identified by the metal finish of knobs throughout a home. With a drill and screwdriver, the current decade can be introduced to your homes’ cabinetry.

It may be as simple as changing from knobs to handles.

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Or changing everything to a metal/look that is current or popular.

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Or mixing it up a bit – adopting a more eclectic look.

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Depending on the size of your kitchen, changing knobs can be pricey.  A new knob can run from $.99 to over $5.00 apiece depending on the quality and look you’re going for. Specialty knobs can run as much as $10.00 each from places like Restoration Hardware or Pottery Barn. But they don’t have to… a can of spray paint can make a huge difference.

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A fresh look helps you feel better about your environment. When we have the feeling that we are ‘with the times’ it settles that FOMO sensation; it helps us connect to the universal need of belonging. We are less timid about socializing at home – any sense of ‘not being good enough’ dissipates; at least in terms of our ability to live in modern conditions.

Novelty+Knob

Whether it’s a can of spray paint or a shopping spree for unique and/or some kind of novelty knob, the look of your kitchen can change significantly with the quick and easy effort of …

Changing the knobs on your kitchen cabinets.

#191 Focus on Self-Awareness

Behavior is only dysfunctional to the extent that it impacts your ability to have the life or relationships that you desire …

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#191

Focus on Self-Awareness

Some might think that ‘ignorance is bliss’, that ‘denial is safe’ yet living in a state of either can lead to rather dysfunctional coping and/or relating. As a psychotherapist, I find that a number of people entering my office are experiencing one or the other albeit, often unconsciously. Even though it may seem rather counter-intuitive – being ‘aware’ is the emotionally healthier option and so much of my work is to help people become “aware”.

Self Protection

If I could teach people in the world any one skill, it would be an ability to become self aware. It’s not necessarily an easy task! Sometimes, we don’t like what we see when we are able to see everything. That’s where avoidance and denial come into play – they protect us from seeing what feels bad. Who wants to feel awful about themselves?

No Judgement

The only reason we don’t’ want to ‘see’ these things is because on some level – we are judging them. Think about it. If you get a tattoo that you love but your mom hates – no problem. You like it so there’s ‘no judgment’. If you get one during a drunken stupor even though you’ve vowed never to ‘ink’ yourself, you may have a judgment about it and seek to cope with your own disappointment by creating a story that makes it ‘ok’ for you. The preferable scenario is that you simply accept both the drunken stupor and the impulse to get a tattoo without any negative feeling.

Frankly, regret is a waste of your emotional energy. For most of us, we do what we do in each moment because it makes sense based on what we know/feel – at that point in time!! And then, like Maya Angelou said “when you know better, you do better”.

Self-honesty

Even though it may be difficult, seeing yourself clearly – how you think, why you think and feel the way you do, why you engage and react in the manner that is common for you – those are important to know. Nothing changes unless you know it exists. Behavior is only dysfunctional to the extent that it impacts your ability to have the life or relationships that you desire so if it works for you… it’s ok. However, if you are missing a piece of that link then a good hard look at YOU is in order. And since we are always changing in response to our relationships and our environment… it’s an ongoing process.

If your goal is to live with authenticity, then its imperative that you develop a lifelong goal to …

Focus on self-awareness.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below

Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash

#221 Plan a vacation to somewhere you’ve never been.

Allow the anticipation to build as you imagine yourself in a new vacation spot. It will be new and exciting…

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#221

Plan a vacation to somewhere you’ve never been.

Are you someone who goes to the same beach town each year? Do you have a timeshare that you visit every vacation? Do you have a mountain cabin, lake house, or beach bungalow that is your home away from home? Does that mean that you rarely see other parts of the country or of the world?? Perhaps it’s time for you to explore a little and schedule a vacation to somewhere you’ve never been.

Ready for change

What type of landscape attracts you? What city have you always dreamed of visiting? Is there a place of solitude that has been tugging at your interest? If you weren’t tied to your family’s choice, where would you go? Are you bored to tears at the lake, looking for more nightlife than the crickets and fireflies offer or are you fed up with the traffic and city lights?

Where to go

Take a look at your calendar and a good hard look at a map… what part of the world is calling you? Maybe it’s just around the corner and is easily attainable. For destinations halfway around the world, it may take a bit more planning and saving but with dedication to the goal – still attainable. If you can’t decide then write down the top five and draw from a jar or close your eyes and point. If all else fails, try the old fashioned dart throw. After a destination is decided upon, investigate and plan. Take a look at all your options and put together a budget.

Pleasurable anticipation

Allow the anticipation to build as you imagine yourself in a new vacation spot. It will be new and exciting… perhaps a bit strange if you’ve been used to a particular location but discovering new things is responsible for pleasure more often than  not. A fresh location to experience rest and relaxation may be just the thing you need this year so go ahead and…

Plan a vacation to somewhere you’ve never been.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#241 Keep an Open Mind

Well, it appears that open minded people are actually happier. They tend to be more creative, more inventive, and score higher on academic exams.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#241

Keep an open Mind

Defined

What does it really mean to keep an open mind? By definition, one source states it is “a willingness to try new things or to hear and consider new ideas.” A long discussion on Quora concedes that it is mostly about considering possibilities over probabilities for all things because we are constantly discovering that some ‘facts’ were only our available perspective.

Possibilities

Being open minded means that we are amenable to discovering that what we once considered absolute may not actually be so. Remember when someone thought it was proper to bleed people with leeches? (yikes!) Or, when most of the world’s population believed the world was flat? (apparently, some still do!) Indeed, our thoughts and beliefs are always being challenged and without the ability to consider possibilities – no matter how probable – we will forever stay locked in a rigid belief system.

Benefits

Why would you want to be open minded? Well, it appears that open minded people are actually happier. They tend to be more creative, more inventive, and score higher on academic exams. They are overall more vulnerable, admit to mistakes more readily, and learn faster. Open minded people say “I can” and “let’s try” more than someone with fixed beliefs. Open minded people experience more variety in their lives.

Science and humanity are always teaching us that the only constant is change so it would make sense that believing in possibilities would open more mental and emotional doors. Wrapping our heads around the idea that no matter how probable – in this moment – something seems, it may actually, be possible; a concept that me can consider if we…

Keep an open mind.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.