“I’m Back” – Healing Wounds

I’ve missed writing. Especially, when there has been so much to talk about. I am often reminded of the image I envisioned while reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic about ideas and how they drop into our minds – offering us an opportunity to grab them and develop them – and then moving on to someone else when we fail to attend to them. I’ve allowed a lot of good thoughts move on but the ones I’ve recently tapped into have my attention and … “I’m Back”.

Even though I haven’t been writing here, I’ve been busy. I’ve been painting, publishing the podcast weekly, seeing clients, and imagining the next step. Covid has forced me to take my practice virtual and I haven’t minded. Yet, I want to impact a broader range of people. I want to teach, foster, and encourage self-awareness and maybe more importantly, self-mastery. I’ve been working on a template for a coaching enterprise to do; stay tuned.

In the meantime, I implore each of you reading this to add a couple of things to your ‘to-do’ list today and each day throughout the summer and beyond.

  1. Open your mind to learn those things that you don’t know you don’t know. LISTEN. I’ll be writing more about this but don’t wait for me to write it… learn to listen with an open heart – an open mind. Consider what people tell you and honor their perspective without criticism and judgement. This means you have to let go of being ‘right’ and seek commonalities. Find a place to connect and go from there.
  2. Practice mutuality in each of your human interactions. How can you support that human being you are interacting with to live their best life? Ultimately, mutuality works best when it is reciprocated but for now… just while we are all open to learning, be the one to start. Use the phrase “how can I help?”
  3. Become aware of your pain. What hurts are you carrying? What generational insults have you bought into? What do you fear? Only hurt people hurt people so if you feel injustice, prejudice, or judgement – understand why! Weeds continue to grow if we don’t pluck ALL the roots.
  4. Have difficult conversations.Stop being afraid of bringing up topics that are politically divisive. We have to talk with people who think differently than us and seek to find similarities or most importantly – hear their position in order to find a place where we can connect. Ask “why?”. Ask “ How?”. Check all of your assumptions… “I was taught….”, “I’ve always thought…”, “Is that true for you?”, “What has your experience been?”.

If we want to be a part of the healing in this country, we must begin by addressing the macro elements that keep pain alive in one another’s hearts. No social program will fix a heart of hatred. Only kindness, compassion, and empathy will suture the wounds that exist from eons of theft, torture, mistrust, brutality, minimization, demoralization, and misconduct both historically and in this very moment of time.

Entertain discussion in your heart, your home, and your community about your part in creating a humane world where each human being has an equal opportunity to thrive. We must figure out a way to recognize when someone is hurting and teach healing techniques so that it doesn’t fester and become the massive infection that is represented in hateful prejudice, no matter the source. 

I’ll continue to talk about this and I invite respectful discussion.

Be safe. Stay well.

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TTAH

You can also listen to me on Try This at Home – a series of conversations about making life better.

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#104 Ditch Gossip

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#104

Ditch Gossip

If you’re human, you’ve probably – at least once in your lifetime – participated in a round of gossip. By definition, gossip is the “idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others”. It is differentiated from asking a friend if they’ve ‘run into’ another… or asking about the welfare of a joint acquaintance. It’s speaking about someone’s life without explicit permission to do so.

Hurtful

By speaking about things that are considered private or deeply personal, we are likely to insult or hurt the targeted individual even if that wasn’t the intent. It may promote shame for that person and ignite feelings that lead to depression, helplessness, and sadly… even suicide. Gossip can injure esteem and confidence. It can lead to feelings of loneliness and cause people to isolate further. It often leads to embarrassment when someone’s private business becomes the focus of outsiders. The anxiety that results can paralyze.

Breach of Trust

When we gossip for the sake of having something to say, we breach the trust that others have in us for keeping their secrets. How many times have you questioned whether or not someone is talking about you the way they are talking about another? If they are willing to betray the interest of John Doe, what keeps them from doing the same to you? How do we build respect for someone that breaches trust? Without trust and respect, how is a relationship sustained?

Do Unto Others

Do you want your personal and private affairs to be the center of discussion between people not involved? If you think that may be bothersome, make the effort to change your energy into something more productive and compassionate. Make a conscious decision to …

Ditch Gossip.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.