Sharing a daily life lesson, tip, or hack; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.
Let someone else be right
Or, I could say… let go of trying to prove your point. I know for some people – this will be a big challenge. You know – our ego simply gets in the way at times. Ok, maybe more than ‘at times’… and it’s necessary to realize that’s all it is – an ego.
I’m not sure the proportion, but a HUGE percentage of arguments escalate simply because someone is determined to be – right. We need to win. When both (or all) parties in the conversation determine that ‘they’ must prevail, it is likely that someone will eventually be verbally beaten into submission; ending the exchange with feelings of defeat and a sense of failure because they were unsuccessful proving their position.
I ask … “why?”
If we have the knowledge, or perhaps proof to substantiate our point… why must we shove it down the proverbial throat of those who don’t know? Or, perhaps have a valid – but different – perspective? Why is it so necessary to demonstrate the lack of knowledge in someone we converse with?
If it is not life changing, a national security issue, or harming anyone – why not just … let it go? How many ego wins does one person need to feel big or secure? If absolutely necessary… Google it and quietly validate the question/answer for yourself but keep it close… allowing someone else to believe what they believe; assuming it doesn’t overstep the above referenced boundaries.
I wonder how many challenges you’ll save yourself from if you were to …
Let someone else be right.
I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.
“Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open.” ~ Ralph Marston
I come from a long line of smart people who for one reason or another make it a habit of defending their point of view to the death. It is a habit I picked up early in life. I learned to debate and enjoyed the bantering with my father and brothers when the opportunity presented. I joined the debate club in school and excelled. It became a way of engaging that was familiar and comfortable. The whole point of a debate is to woo listeners to your point of view (POV) – based on facts and evidence of course. Often, the evidence presented is heavily weighted to justify the point of view you’ve taken, which – doesn’t necessarily make it ‘right’ but a solid perspective.
I was often accused of the offense of needing to be ‘right’ – of arguing my point until the listener acquiesced. In reality, I wasn’t concerned with whether or not my POV was ‘right’ only that it was defended well. If I had the ‘facts’ wrong – so be it. I’ve always enjoyed learning so if I had a chance to educate myself, I was better for it. Being right was never the objective – just persuasive. I suspect that’s what made me good in sales… another trait that is evident in my family.
The whole idea of right versus wrong is a human one… it is born of morality and therefore does not have a definitive origin or definition. The same is said of the words good and bad. We ascertain definitions of these four words via our culture, our religion, our feelings, our relationships, and interests to name a few of the origins. Therefore, from person to person, the parameters of what constitute those words can vary; and consequently… cause interpretation problems.
H and I went to see Rogue One today and during one of the intense fight scenes toward the end of the movie, I thought I saw Chewbacca in one of the fighters. It was a nanosecond shot and of course, I couldn’t rewind to make sure I saw it. Continue reading