#92 Be a Cheerleader

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#92

Be A Cheerleader

I’ve written about mentoring, appreciation, and friendship and in each case, there is potential for this suggestion – to be a cheerleader. Of course, I don’t mean the high school sports variety. By cheerleader, I mean someone whose focus is championing for another, directly encouraging and supporting.

We all need someone in our corner cheering for us – egging us on for a win – for success. Cheerleaders don’t criticize or correct, they inspire, urge, celebrate and rejoice in each little maneuver that delivers someone closer to the goal.

Pure Cheering

For some people this comes really easy – we all know one … that person (often a Grandmother) who encourages you no matter what – even if it’s not all that great of an idea or goal. And then there’s the rest of us (often parents) who who say “that’s good, but…”. A true cheerleader eliminates the “but”. A cheerleader leaves their personal opinion out of the equation. Unless someone is headed in a direction of self harm or violence – they are pure support.

Value of Cheerleading

While there has been a lot of controversy in recent years of building people up – sometimes without merit, it’s an important element of developing and sustained self-esteem. It feels good to know that someone is ‘on our side’ and that there is a person ‘has our back’ no matter what. Trust is established in this manner as well as confidence. Yes, it’s true that blowing smoke at people isn’t helpful because the real world doesn’t always ‘cheerlead’ for us. It’s all in the delivery!

Honest Cheering

It’s possible to be a cheerleader without going overboard and puffing someone up unrealistically. Instead of saying “you were great!” (if they really weren’t)… say “Your effort was amazing!” or “You’ll get it next time.”  Instead of claiming that a negative isn’t present at all… focus on the positives. Instead of buying into the disappointment that a ‘big’ thing that didn’t happen – celebrate all the small victories.

I’m sure there is someone in your life that can benefit from your decision to…

Be a cheerleader.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#105 Stop Complaining

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#105

Stop Complaining

I read that complaining was like emotional farting – a description that resonated with me and it turns out – that when we complain, it’s as if we are in a closed elevator – essentially impacting everyone in our vicinity with the negativity of our comments. Yes, complaining is contagious. When you are complaining, you are a black cloud of dust settling in, over, and around everything within earshot.

Second Nature

The adage “what we focus on … grows” and it’s indicated in physical science by looking at the way our brain sends electrical charges through our brain – eventually shortening the distance the charge travels and making it easier for the brain to think the way it is thinking. In this example, “grows” refers to the ease with which thoughts are triggered. When we complain a lot, complaining becomes second nature.

Based on this logic, the reverse would also be true. If we compliment – or notice the positive – over and over, they are the elements that become a natural part of our thought process.

Stress

Negativity begets stress… stress is hazardous to your overall health. When we are surrounded by complaining, stress levels increase. When we are complaining, stress is elevated. In both cases, the overarching effect on our system is negative which, in many cases – become another focus of our complaint.

Easy Street

Complaining is easy. We are hardwired to look for what’s wrong in life. It’s a mechanism that supports our survival and some complaining – is healthy. The truth is that some aspects of life feel negative and expressing frustration effectively is a necessity for good mental health. Constructively expressing the emotions we feel is more difficult than it appears.

Gratitude

The antidote to complaints is to recognize the good in each experience. Expressing gratitude for even the most difficult of scenarios is at the heart of healthy functioning. It is akin to finding the silver lining in every storm cloud and describing IT – instead of the horror of the storm. Noticing the good and allowing it to take center stage instead of complaining about the element that wasn’t perfect… can be where the focus goes. And ass it goes… “what we focus on… grows” so…

Stop Complaining.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#121 Make a list of Positive Affirmations

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#121

Make a list of positive affirmations

The idea that positive thinking is at the core of positive developments and manifestations is now more than one hundred years old. It is thought to have been born out of Wallace Wattles’s 1910 book, The Science of Getting Rich. One of the primary tenets of the ideology is the value of affirmation.

Affirmation

By definition, an affirmation is “the action or process of affirming something” as well as “emotional support or encouragement”. In the New Thought movement, an affirmation is defined as “a carefully formatted statement that should be repeated to one’s self and written down frequently”.  As they are formulated, attention is directed so that they are “present tense, positive, personal, and specific”.

Louise Hay

Louise Hay, may be one of the original ‘self-help’ gurus as her book You Can Heal Your Life has had a permanent place on the bestseller list for that genre since its publication in 1984 – more than 30  years. She teaches the power of affirmations and offers specific instruction on how to craft them for effectiveness.

Creating Affirmation

An affirmation – as mentioned earlier – needs to be:

Personal – I, my life, I know, I believe, I trust

Positive – absolute, all, always, in fact, everyday, at all times, in every way.

Specific – (naming the ‘thing’ that you want to affirm)

Present – now, as I breathe, in this moment, at this time, here, am, is.

Example: I am (Personal) always (positive) extending compassion (the ‘thing’) as I breathe (present moment).

It doesn’t have to be in that exact order or using only those words of course. The internet has a gazillion examples of you need help choosing the ones that are meaningful to you.

Using affirmations

For many of us, the use of affirmations is a way of teaching ourselves a new language. It’s a way to overturn critical and negative self talk with something encouraging and healthy. Instead of a personal beratement of “I never do anything right” – the affirmation of “I am always learning from mistakes I have made”.

I recommend making a set of flashcards – just like you would if you were learning a new language vocabulary (because you are) – and practice them on a regular basis. I’ve had clients who kept them in their car, their purse, on their nightstand, etc. and reviewed them several times a day. Eventually, they become memorized and etched in our mindsets just like the vocabulary we learned as students.

Consider for a few minutes, those positive elements that you want to become more pronounced in your day-to-day life and …

Create a list of positive affirmations.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.