#241 Keep an Open Mind

Well, it appears that open minded people are actually happier. They tend to be more creative, more inventive, and score higher on academic exams.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#241

Keep an open Mind

Defined

What does it really mean to keep an open mind? By definition, one source states it is “a willingness to try new things or to hear and consider new ideas.” A long discussion on Quora concedes that it is mostly about considering possibilities over probabilities for all things because we are constantly discovering that some ‘facts’ were only our available perspective.

Possibilities

Being open minded means that we are amenable to discovering that what we once considered absolute may not actually be so. Remember when someone thought it was proper to bleed people with leeches? (yikes!) Or, when most of the world’s population believed the world was flat? (apparently, some still do!) Indeed, our thoughts and beliefs are always being challenged and without the ability to consider possibilities – no matter how probable – we will forever stay locked in a rigid belief system.

Benefits

Why would you want to be open minded? Well, it appears that open minded people are actually happier. They tend to be more creative, more inventive, and score higher on academic exams. They are overall more vulnerable, admit to mistakes more readily, and learn faster. Open minded people say “I can” and “let’s try” more than someone with fixed beliefs. Open minded people experience more variety in their lives.

Science and humanity are always teaching us that the only constant is change so it would make sense that believing in possibilities would open more mental and emotional doors. Wrapping our heads around the idea that no matter how probable – in this moment – something seems, it may actually, be possible; a concept that me can consider if we…

Keep an open mind.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

Consider The Possibilities

When he came out of hypnosis, he was clear about the ‘message’ of the experience and he said that the validation was helpful

Continued from Digging Deep

“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.” – George Carlin

There was no doubt, none, zip, nada … that the person looking back at me was one in the same as my current day brother Pat. It’s another of those unexplainable ‘knowing’ things that don’t fit any logic or rationale. It doesn’t fit into the paradigm of what we can see, hear, or touch but I knew it as strongly as I know my feet are on the ground… and it was weird, comforting, nonsensical and intuitive all at once. I didn’t want to leave that scene. There was so much solace in that room and I wanted to be there longer, to know more. The hypnotist was bringing me out of a trance, misreading my tears apparently and as I came grew into awareness, I was dumbfounded to realize that he had been traveling with me – through time. It made perfect sense to me now.

Along with the concept of reincarnation is the postulation that we reincarnate within ‘soul families’. Depending on who you read, there are different methods of explaining this and various ideas of what constitutes a ‘family’. The best description I’ve heard is that of a LEAF. I don’t recall who first stated this but its description highlights the basic premise well. As a soul, we are like a leaf on a tree – and on that tree, the leaves on the twig with us are the closest although we are also intimately connected to the other leaves on the branch and of course, the tree in general. We may even have some connection, if only in proximity, to other leaves on the surrounding trees but we can’t possibly be connected to leaves on the other side of the forest…

I believe that Pat is a leaf on my twig. We’ve all had the experience of meeting someone where the connection is immediate and easy. It may be your best friend, your partner, a work colleague, or a school buddy… most of us know the sensation of ‘I feel like I’ve known you forever’ thing. It may be because your soul recognizes that person’s soul… perhaps because you’ve been traveling through time for millenniums.

Dr. Weiss shared stories with us about patients and their discoveries and the book Only Love Is Real describes the most bizarre and amazing experience when he realized that two of his patients were portraying the exact same regression – people who didn’t know each other!!

By week’s end, I was relaxed, in awe, and conversing freely with most anyone who looked my direction. I had ‘woken up’. I don’t know if I should attribute it to the cleaning of my chakra, the consequence of being surrounded by so much love, or a realization that I was wasting my ‘moments’ by not being present. In any regard, I was sitting in a common area on the last night there when Michael and a group of others from our seminar walked in. I got up and went over to their table, asking to join them. I had grown some courage in a weeks’ time, or perhaps just gotten to know them well enough to take down my shield. The conversation moved toward parapsychology and people were sharing stories about mediums and clairvoyants. Michael (the guy I sat next to all week) looked directly at me and said “I’ve been wanting to tell you that you’re going to meet a man soon. There is something about Christmas coming through, so maybe around that time.”  All I wanted to know is if he was going to be tall, so I asked… “tall I hope?” “Tall and blonde” he said.

Hmm… my roommate had just predicted that I would meet someone around the holidays. She wasn’t here anymore – I don’t think they’ve met since she was in a different workshop… was it possible that they were picking up on something? The temptation to give in to the anticipation was overwhelming but there were more exciting, more present things to be excited about and I stayed focused on the work we had been doing all week.

I was one of the few people there who was still a student. I knew I had much more to learn and I was genuinely excited to begin studying counseling; how to help people regardless and potentially those who may be affected by past life experiences. It was time to consider grad schools.

On the way home from the mountain, I wanted to call and tell everyone I knew about how mindbending my week was. It’s a hard discussion, though. In order to discuss the impact of past lives, you have to be open to the idea of have had one – or at least that I did. Even if it isn’t a ‘real thing’, there is a need to be open to the lesson or message – even if it is only from your own voice. I didn’t know many people in that arena. I did call Pat, though… he was on the same page and I knew he would buy into my enthusiasm. I didn’t tell him about my regression, though… I wanted to regress him and find out if he might see or remember the same time. I told him only enough that he was eager to go under.

I made a decision about Grad school too. As chance (?) would have it – I received a phone call on that drive home from one of the schools I had been considering. They sold me hard and I agreed – on that phone call – to go ahead and register. The only problem was that they hadn’t yet received their CACREP accreditation… it was in process they said. There was a slight risk by enrolling in a program that was new but I believed in the details to student success that they were purporting. I would start in just three weeks time.

I felt as if I was on fire. I was excited and charged, eager to practice the skills I acquired during my week on the mountain. I let everyone know that I was ‘open for business’ so to speak; that I was offering regression – free of charge – in exchange for the practice. A few people took me up on it immediately.

One of those people was a man in my family – remaining nameless – who, under regression, found himself in a cave, alone and afraid. He was an Indian who had been sent out on a maturing mission, a rite of passage. He was trapped, though. In a shallow cave being monitored by a mountain lion and he knew that he would never leave that cave alive. He was emotional and recounting the experience as if he was describing a football game… he was detached and yet he summarizing the situation clearly and acutely. When he came out of hypnosis, he was clear about the ‘message’ of the experience and he said that the validation was helpful. Validation for the fact that sometimes in ‘this’ life, he feels alone even though he knows he is not… now he knows where this ‘energy’ belongs and can stop second guessing. He expressed a sense of relief.

It was amazing and I stayed excited, reading everything I could find about reincarnation – especially academic material that had science behind it – if only a little bit. Since Hindu’s believe in reincarnation, much of the academic work centers there and there are more… amazing stories. I encourage anyone with an interest to investigate Dr. Ian Stephenson from the University of Virginia. His entire career was dedicated to paranormal research and is meticulously researched with incredible evidence.

Open yourself up to possibilities!

Dating OMG

I wasn’t necessarily looking for love but I was looking for a good match of compatibility.

Continued from Accomplishments

Online dating is just as murky and full of lemons as finding a used car in the classifieds. Once you learn the lingo, it’s easier to spot the models with high mileage and no warranty. ~ Laurie Perry

In the twenty-eight months after discovery day, I graduated from college, I settled an estate, prepared Sara for college and managed to start dating a little again. After fifteen tumultuous years with Hubby, I had sworn off ever – EVER – falling in love again. I was finished with men and was not shy about announcing it for the first year after I first saw all of his emails. By the end of that first year, my resolve began to soften as I realized that my celibacy left me feeling lonely and in need of adult companionship. I had wonderful friends who included me in most every activity and yet, I lived in a world of couples. Even walking through the mall on a Friday night had me lonely for that whole ‘family’ thing that no longer existed.

I lived in suburbia, a rural area surrounded by soccer fields and subdivisions of four bedroom homes. There weren’t any single men, at least none that I knew of. I wasn’t into the bar scene, nor were any of my girlfriends and so meeting someone that might offer a sense of camaraderie seemed impossible, or at the very least, improbable. I decided to try an online dating service. I registered on Match.com, it seemed to be the most popular at that time and I had hoped that paying a fee meant that people there would be serious. I spent countless hours perusing profiles of wanton men who couldn’t spell and or thought that watching football was, by itself, a sport. There were others, professional men who were seeking female counterparts but I soon realized that most of the people in my age group were seeking younger women.

I reached out to a few people with a ‘wink’ and received a few in return. I had a brief conversation with one of the fellows through email but didn’t have the nerve to take it any further. Online dating can be excruciatingly detrimental to one’s ego, perhaps more so than face to face dating as even an electronic ‘wink’ goes ignored. There is no way to produce a multi-dimensional description of yourself that embodies a relative snapshot of who you are. As such, we all take a chance that the person reading the profile information will be left wanting more information but too often, we turn away because there just isn’t enough there to be enticing. I wasn’t looking to fall in love, just hang out with someone who was also divorced.

At the time, a friend of a friend who had been widowed was also doing some online dating and we had an opportunity to exchange stories. She told me about running across a profile of someone in the community whom she knew – someone who was married. She told me as a measure of caution so that I would be sure to ask the right questions and exercise prudence. It made me wonder if Hubby ever had an online portfolio while we were married… she went on to describe a few deplorable dates from her personal experience, one where a guy showed up, handed her a list of characteristics he was looking for and asked if she was open to complying. She said she stood up and walked out and I sat there with my mouth open, listening to the stories, not sure that I wanted to pursue this much further.

Another friend had tried a personal dating service, It’s Just Lunch – where someone interviews you in person, takes photos, and then calls you with a scheduled blind date lunch.  It seemed harmless enough but it was grossly expensive. At least, I told myself, that the people there were probably more financially independent than perhaps those who were on the internet. In the spirit of YOLO, I decided to give it a try.

I actually went on a couple of those dates. The only thing that I had to do was show up and have a conversation. The first guy was nice and tall but super thin. He explained that he was a marathon runner and asked if I was athletic. I’m pretty sure he could tell just by looking at me that I wasn’t athletic, each one of my thighs was the size of his waist. If he stood in front of me, I would have spilled over on each side. I instantly felt insecure and all of those old mental thoughts about not being good enough because of my body shape came flooding over me. I knew right away that I wasn’t willing to face that challenge every day and so, I said goodbye to number one.

The second date was almost as strange. We met for lunch and had a really nice time. He was seated when I arrived and didn’t stand. I thought that was odd… I recognized immediately that I expected a certain level of courtesy, of manners. I was taught to stand when being introduced.  Strike one.  I recall having a nice lunch, building hope that this may turn into a second date and then we stood to leave… um. No wonder he didn’t stand – he was at least two inches shorter than me – which was weird because it was one of the major deal-breakers that my interviewer knew – I wanted a man taller than my 5’10” frame. I was instantly disappointed but tried not to show it. He walked me to my car – very gentlemanly of him – and then tried to kiss me; on the lips. Ugh! First date buddy! Strike two.  You should have asked – strike three, I thought.

My interviewer explained that she didn’t have many people to choose from in my geographical area and so she had to compromise on a few of the ‘items from my desired list’. We agreed not to ignore my top three… tall, professional, and younger than 50.  I didn’t think that was too much to ask.

Date three… really nice guy handsome, tall, 46, and within an hour’s drive. I was instantly attracted until we began talking about family.  It seems that he didn’t marry until he was 40 and had been widowed when his wife passed away during a complicated childbirth. Well, we had widowhood in common. And then, the dropped the bomb – he had 4-year-old triplets. YIKES!! So sad really, but no way… I was absolutely not, raising someone else’s kids; not for twelve more years. Holy cow, I would be almost sixty before I had any freedom – that was a deal breaker that I hadn’t thought I had to specify.

I took a break, letting my interviewer know that we just weren’t on the same page. I wasn’t necessarily looking for love but I was looking for a good match of compatibility. It was a couple o f weeks later when IJL called and scheduled another date… “This one”, she said, “met all of my criteria”. Ok, now I was excited. I met Jay for lunch and while he wasn’t the most handsome man I had seen, he had all of the other qualities that were important to me. He was tall, charming, smart, professional, the right age, the right demeanor… it was all off to a really nice start and we agreed to have dinner next.

I drove home like a giddy teenager. I amazed me that no matter your age, meeting someone new had the same impetus that it had at any other time in life. I was anxious to call my girlfriend and share the experience with her. Sherry had been a friend for a number of years, she knew Hubby and me professionally and somewhere along the line, our business dinners morphed into pleasure as we enjoyed getting to know she and her husband personally. About two years prior, I had connected with her because of business but somehow connected – woman to woman – and we became personal friends. Since then, she had been one of the most supportive people in my life, always there. Together, we imagined all kinds of possibilities that more dates with Jay might offer.