#118 Lower Your Expectations

Expectations need to be clear and verbalized when they exist and in order for that to happen, they need to be in our awareness.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#118

Lower your expectations

It has been said that the single quickest way to obtain a sense of happiness is to lower your expectations – allowing most of the disappointment you feel to disappear. You see, when we experience disappointment, it’s due almost exclusively to an expectation that wasn’t met.

Here are a few areas where high expectations can make life more difficult:

  1. Expectations for perfection
  2. Expectations for people to think like ‘me’.
  3. A belief that there’s only one way – the right way – and an expectation for people to adopt that belief.
  4. An expectation for people to ‘do what I do’.
  5. An expectation to avoid confrontation.
  6. An expectation to control what’s outside of your authority.
  7. An expectation for people to define things like you do.

Each one of those items can be applied to an almost limitless list of examples in the average person’s day to day life.

We are raised with expectations, we are required to meet expectations at our place of employment, and we are constantly exposed to social expectations. The challenge of determining which ones are appropriate to meet and which ones we can dismiss can be overwhelming. Some of us – in light of this – try to meet them all… often with disastrous consequences to our mental health.

Generally speaking, consider the ones that do NOT fall into any of the above categories. Then, take a look at which of the remaining ones are a priority to YOU. Meeting those expectations at work may be necessary if you want to generate an income that sustains your lifestyle yet making your bed every morning may be a leftover from mom.

Meeting expectations feels good but failing to hit the mark generally, does not. If you are going to establish expectations, make sure they are reachable for the people to whom they apply. It may be too big of a goal for your C student to get straight A’s next semester. Expectations need to be clear and verbalized when they exist and in order for that to happen, they need to be in our awareness. Many of us have subconscious expectations that are represented by idea’s of ‘should’.

Discover your subconscious expectations easily by recording those things that are ‘should’s’ in your life… you’ll be amazed. Only then can you make the decision to know when for what you can …

Lower your expectations.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#176 Record Your Dreams

I know this postulation gives many of us pause as we recall some of the more bizarre dreams that when remembered – seem to come out of left field.

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#176

Record your dreams

Sleep experts tell us that everyone dreams. Do you remember yours? Psychoanalyst Jeffrey Sumber suggests that dreams are the communication avenue utilized by our subconscious and our conscious selves. He posits that dreams are quite meaningful and will often help us process complicated or confusing emotions in a state that is safe and private.

Ditch the dream ‘dictionary’

I know this postulation gives many of us pause as we recall some of the more bizarre dreams that when remembered – seem to come out of left field. Why in the world would I dream about…. ? We’ve all wondered that question. Dream analysis isn’t a fixed science even though many representations are made as such. While it may be common for people who dream about drowning to be overwhelmed in some area of their lives, it is an inferred meaning – not a ‘fact’.

Currently, all things that happen at an unconscious level are still mysteries and psychologists are only making best guesses at the origin, purpose, and meaning of unconscious events. Clearly, there is a growing body of commonalities yet with dreams especially – it’s a personal event that is as unique as the individual him or her self.

First Step

If you are seeking information about your dreams, the first step is to keep a dream journal on your nightstand. Why there? Many of us forget our dreams within moments of waking unless we wake in the middle of or right after a dream. If we don’t take steps to implant the memory of the dream, it disappears because our brain doesn’t’ consider it necessary information. (Similar to noticing the people next to you at dinner but unable to describe them hours later.) Immediately upon waking… breathe deeply and recall your last known imagery and then write down as many details as you can recall. Generally, as we write we will remember more.

Meaning

Pay particular attention to ‘feelings’ in a dream. If you are engaging in an activity – consider what meaning you give that activity. Who is with you? What is their roll in your life? As it relates to the meaning of your dream – YOU are the expert. You’re the only one who can ultimately decode the messages as they are being sent to you -via imagery – from your subconscious to your consciousness.

After you’ve recorded elements from a number of different dreams – look for commonalities. Identify the events during your conscious day that may correlate to elements in your dreams.

Self Awareness

In this manner, you’ll begin to decode messages or processing strategy that your subconscious mind is working with. It’s fascinating to discover another layer of your psyche and promotes an even deeper level of self-awareness — always a great thing. If you’re curious, get a notebook and begin by…

Recording your dreams.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below