#124 Realign Your Priorities

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#124

Realign Your Priorities

Why do you do what you do? What are your priorities? Do your actions – your behaviors – demonstrate your priorities? Are you engaged in the activity that you say is the most important thing?

Define Your Priorities

When asked this question, people often respond family, friends, home, work, etc… and often in that order. (Many people put God ahead of them all). Yet, as I ask a client to describe their day to day lifestyle, there is often a discrepancy between what I heard described and the values they shared to begin with. If someone tells me that their family is the most important thing on Earth but then works sixty hours a week, they are demonstrating that it’s not ‘time’ with family but ‘providing for’ family is the priority. This is a great example of what one person says and what the other ‘hears’. Jack and Jill both ‘say’ that family is their number one priority but their actions/behaviors delineated that further by drilling down to ‘time with family’ and ‘providing for family’. Often – those specific values work in contradiction to one another.

We could drill down even further to examine the nuances of each by describing ‘time’ more specifically… is that weekends and soccer games? Or is it story time and date nights too? Does ‘providing for’ mean any old roof over our heads or does it mean 3000 square feet and quartz counter tops? Does it mean private school and full college tuition or public schools and grant money?

Work in Progress

The fact is, our priorities develop and morph over time. If we are good communicators who are present and who spend time ‘going deep’ with our partners, they stay in alignment both with our actions/behaviors, and in tandem with our partner. I find that this is rarely the case – at least with couples who seek therapy.

Lose Sight

I think many of us fail to remember to check in with ourselves from time to time – let alone with sour partners. In our crazy busy world where we are constantly seeking more, we get stuck on auto-pilot – somehow thinking that because we got on ‘this’ road, it will take us where we want to go without more direction checking on our part. We set course based on the information we have garnered – at – that – time. Along the way, there are distractions, chaos, change, temptations, etc…. And we often lose sight of their original objective or we adjust course and forget to share that information.

Back on Track

Getting realigned takes little more than some self-assessment, a discussion, and honesty. It means revisiting your values and priorities to be sure they are still valid and then assess our actions/behaviors to evaluate their efficiency toward manifesting the priority. If ‘(quantity) time’ with family is above all else, working 60 hour weeks isn’t the route to that goal and it will require an honest conversation to realign the priority or to realign the action/behavior so that they work in tandem with one another.

Good Habits

We see our doctor for an annual physical. WE get systematic reviews of our professional performance. Our corporations are assessed for proficiency and profitability on a regular basis. As an individual who is ultimately responsible for backing up our words with action – it’s imperative that we do the same. Make it at least an annual habit to take a step back and …

Realign your priorities.

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.

#125 Eat Healthier

Sharing 365 life lessons, tips, or hacks; the things that make life easier, happier, and more productive. I hope you’ll follow along and find them helpful too.

#125

Eat Healthier

This sounds like a New Year’s resolution at first glance and yet it may be the cornerstone to actually living a happier, healthier, and more productive life. The concept is only new to you if you’ve been living in a cave for the last couple of decades. Indeed, over that time, the Surgeon General and most of our health care practitioners, have touted the benefits of making healthier food choices while the average size of children and adults continues to escalate.

In our fast paced, modern world – the most basic element of survival has become more and more difficult to monitor. We are inundated with food choices almost everywhere we go. Even at my children’s orthodontist office – right next to the coffee pot (a valued added service) there are cookies, cake, or doughnuts ready to be gobbled up by waiting parents, siblings, and hungry kids ready for their after school snack.

Instead of picking an apple off the tree on a walk home from school, our children ride the bus around a corner and into a subdivision, get dropped off at the driveway and grab a processed rice krispy treat or a bag of Doritos before plopping on the sofa to play video games. Sadly, that morphs into a quick dinner with a ‘hurry up and eat’ before someone has to be somewhere more evenings a week than not. It’s the ‘way of the world’ these days and we are all guilty at some point of wanting and making meals to be quick and easy regardless of how healthy they are.

It is beginning to change with healthier options on menus everywhere yet our size continues to grow. In part, because even though we have options – we don’t choose them enough of the time for it to make an impact. Consequently, grocery stores still sell the processed stuff; restaurants still offer the 2000 calorie burger & fries, and deep fried Snicker bars are sold by the thousands at every fair/carnival around the country – because we keep buying them!!

In the interest of honesty I must disclose that I too, cave to the pressure – the smells – and the flavors that tempt and tease me. I can definitely commit to making more consistent healthier choices. In talking with clients who are challenged here as well, the common similarity is that we lack will power. It’s challenging to walk into a mall where Cinnabon has just finished baking a tray of toaster sized rolls. The air is pungent with the smell of cinnamon and yeast. A glance in that direction identifies the source and one can hardly ignore that they are frosted with a decadent amount of cream cheese sugary goodness – so much so that if you’ve ever tasted it – and love it – your mouth instantly begins craving another fix.  ONE classic bun touts 880 calories and the equivalent of 15 spoonfuls of sugar. Would you sit down and shovel 15 teaspoons of sugar into you mouth on purpose??

Instead of succumbing to the temptation of my olfactory inclinations, I make an effort to command control and convince myself that carrot sticks are sweet too. I then seek an eating establishment that offers ‘fresh’ non-processed options and each time I sit down to eat or stroll through the grocery store I make another concerted effort to…

Eat healthier.

(P.S. – Breaking an addiction to sugar is perhaps the most important part of eating healthier – it makes everything else taste better!)

I love hearing your thoughts and ideas. Please share in the comments below.